It is my youngest’s birthday today, and time really flies, as a parent though it is difficult not to think of them as little kids even when they are adults. Work is productive, and things seem to have improved after some significant changes. We have a few new team members with one starting next week. My workload is pretty much the same as it always is but I am doing more hours. Thankfully today there is a public holiday to mourn the queen and I get a little bit of rest before the week’s end. I may be painting today but I will see in a few hours, I woke up quite early and it is a little wet today. I have been learning Chinese for the past few months and I am finding it interesting, I love finding patterns in things but I have a long way to go.

I have had a little taste of the graffiti scene in the last few months and I know why I changed direction. I find the obsessive nature of illegal graffiti leaves little room for any creative choices, the work is creative but there are a lot of limitations. I haven’t done any illegal graffiti but I have been around that set and they are on the grind all of the time. Also some graffiti artists, and I am the same in a lot of ways, are obsessed with their own contribution and trying to fit themselves into a crew to be part of something. That is normal but I find crews for me are a thing of the past, to me, it is just a memory or memories of the past rather than something for me now. 

Also, there are a lot of grown men in graffiti who are childish, the term manchild sums a few of them up and I feel that people will avoid their own problems and try to highlight other people’s problems. Some have obvious problems with alcohol or money and want to hide from their issues. I know some guys who are controlling or want to do everything their own way and that is fine in small doses, some guys can’t manage money, they will drop a bottle of alcohol in a couple of minutes. There are all sorts of excuses and stories, also I find graffiti could be healthier and more vibrant in Sydney instead of somewhere for people to hide and cover themselves in ignorance and delusions.

At the same time, it is up to me to make better choices and I plan on limiting my interactions as I have a lot on with work and my own goals. I have been lucky to be given a prominent wall and I will try and make the most of that opportunity making work that pushes my creativity. Of course, I am not going to cut people off but I am going to put my own needs first so I don’t get embroiled in the mess that is Sydney graffiti. I am busy anyway and I want to keep being able to do the work I want to do without sitting around for hours waiting for people or being lied to, or manipulated.