Ramping up

Have been relaxing through winter but will start rolling out some new walls soon. The main aim is to get some unexpected results and there will be a roll out as winter starts to come to a close. There is a lot to do and the ball should start rolling in the next few weeks. Not sure where the first wall will be but there are around three that need redoing. There are also a couple of spots that are low profile too but they are more if the weather isn’t great. Lets see how it goes.

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Staying positive

Had a persoanl crisis, this is typical of me every few months or so. Start to doubt myself and concentrate on anything negative that can be conjured up. The way I got out of it was to think, well yes you are right there are some problems that are unresolved but to create something out of this doubt is to create something and that in itself is great. I am very lucky really, I have got out of a few jams in my life in one piece and have actually come out better off. There are some issues that have bothered me for a while but they are trivial. Remember when I was a teen and how my main motivation was anger this was fuelled by anxiety. Would either be afraid or aggressive, afraid in situations that were normal or regular and aggressive when provoked all of this came down to low self esteem.

There were reasons but things change, your life changes and I think my kids are pretty confident and that is my main focus now. Used to think that I had to be on top of my game was basically competetive and not particularly confident in myself but it isn’t about that I came to realise. You have a life path and it follows a trajectory that seems to move with your interests and really things could be better for me in some areas but it would probably effect my main goal which is to be there for my kids.