It was interesting how mind blowing late 80s dance parties were for me. Zap and I started going around 88 to the hordern for big dance gigs. They were put on primarily by the gay and lesbian community to open up lines with the general public to have fun and dance. They were quite epic, I was around fifteen when I went to my first dance party. I wasn’t taking drugs just having some alcohol and dancing it was the best vibe and a lot of guys I brought along were scared of the gay element but it didn’t bother me or Zap we loved the crazy costumes and fun. Nobody ever tried to hit on us or anything and we just totally lost it in the crowd. It is hard to explain the feeling because it was just so amazing. Raves kind of later seemed less creative in terms of dressing up and more about drugs so after 1991 I stopped going to dance parties. From 88 to 91 there were some massive rat parties it was a very creative venture for the organisers and attendees. This really changed my view on creativity and opened my mind to creative events and music. Not to say there were not great parties after 91, it was just for me the costumes and sci-fi vibe was really creative and I was in my element. To be honest my memory is pretty cloudy of older events but I remember the first party I went to with Zap and we couldn’t believe it. Our creativity is still tied to those days.
Trying to move commercial stuff to my new site so renamed ‘Murals’ to ‘Graffiti’ and made ‘Art’ page with various sound and images.
Was thinking about the fundamental differences between Zap and my own work. Basically we have stolen a lot from each each other over the years but managed to stay quite distinct in style. Basically Zap is into machines and I am into organisms though we can overlap and do both. Zap loves cars and consoles, I get excited by cells and micro shots of bacteria. I think my style really developed in early 2000, that is when I started letting my other interests grow. In the early 90s and late 90s I dabbled with organic shapes but I really let it go with a particular work in 2000 which I felt was really oddball. Zap got his machines going in the late 90s and stuck it out where in contrast I was in and out up and down finding then losing. One great stealing session was when Zap did a great piece in 2010 and I was blown away, a few years later I found the style was lifted from a section of a piece I did in 98 that was part of a collab. It was funny because in 98 I lifted a whole style off Zap with everything from some of his canvas work and spent a year using it for my own paintings. So we just steal from each other and we don’t seem to mind as basically our ideas are different. I stole another idea in regard to outlines which I will use occasionally and sometimes I just do a part of his piece maybe a character because I know basically what he wants to achieve and to help lighten the load. I guess I really like his style and respect it and it seems the respect is mutual. We have known each other for around thirty years so have developed together, he always encouraged me to stay experimental and I appreciate that because only a handful of people understood what I was doing when I broke away from my mainstream graffiti style in 1993. We are pioneers and have opened a lot up in Sydney which is the city of sandcastles, we are not really great innovators but just really excited by art making and following our interests.
It has been busy again in terms of freelance work. I need more but really I am getting paid to learn at the minute and my brother in law gave me some solid advice in terms of wordpress development which was an aha moment. It has all been about the tools. My client is very business focused and having meetings with him got me thinking about my own cobbling things together style. So I got the gear, the gear to climb the mountain so to speak, software tools and some hardware which actually has helped. Its like having the running shoes but really you have to run and if you are serious you will. I have become a little tired of cobbling even though it had its place. Some people are kind of hidden away doing some kind of obscure hobby and I have been like that and you do develop skills, but to make that next step you need to just jump in the deep end.
So to recap I have been learning to drive a manual car, I have returned to karate after a long hiatus, I know the core development style for wordpress, I have a new domain name too but I am using it for development though soon I will put up my commercial portfolio as well. It is good to keep professional and hobby stuff separate. I am ready to throw in aerosol painting because I am not feeling it anymore, I need to move into other things now.
It has been great doing this blog over the years, I started it in 2011 and it was an opportunity to try and organise my thoughts. I would post up ridiculous stuff that was mildly inflammatory such as my Mosque a mile project for the north shore and normally my posts were poems. My style is conversational and it is as though you and I are sitting together while we have a chat. The lack of positive quotes and conversations about mental illness lead me in a way to show there was somebody home. You have been an ear for me and I have given you an earful. I went back through posts in 2012 and deleted posts that I felt were a little callous, that was a mistake. Some posts I still have buried away somewhere, they can be a bit like this in 2012:
That little ditty was about painting gouache work, a series I called “Variations”. The main thing is there is some sense even in the nonsense. So where am I going with this post? Well I wanted to introduce you to a problem I have. The problem is called living in my imagination and making all sorts of things to fulfil my own drive. The drive is simply to see something, to hear something maybe to help heal a wound. Though I am not wounded, maybe it is to map out a scar though truly I am not particularly scarred. So what is it that drives me to create lots of things people don’t particularly want or care about? It is something that lives in my heart, it doesn’t bother me or anyone else but it wants to say ‘I told you so’, and ‘I knew it was there all along’. Just as the holy ghost binds believers art binds our hearts to truth. That is the wound of being human of the human condition, looking out at the world from that feeling in your heart. The heart reaches out even when people deny it or ignore it, it is in a state of knowing and searching. Once a person was trying to get a book of my aerosol work published around a decade ago and the title I wanted was “Sydney searcher”. It plays on the criminal but it was about the spiritual longing which we confuse with material goods, so we search in vain for our true reality. I suppose my understanding is primarily Christian though I am more a believer in everything that I can possibly believe and I don’t think suffering leads to enlightenment. But I believe in the search and it is like the ‘objet petit a’ the unattainable object of desire that keeps us going and what of the end?