I have a lot of ambition. I can create things. Yet I am somewhat stuck. It seems to a broad extent I have lost a lot of support over the years. There is a sinister element to it as well. Take graffiti as an example. There is an element that sees itself as criminal. As gangster. They want to prove that they are not to be taken lightly. They are simply lurking in darkness. A storm that wants to prove beyond a doubt its own vision of what graffiti is about and does. It is a social game bar none. This element muddy’s the waters. People can’t see clearly. Every effort is about clarity. There is a purpose to undermine. That is why I have spoken so much about slander. It is an art of clean edges. A sticker that says what exactly is supposed to be taken away or read. There is no obscure message. Just a posture carried over from social words to spoken words to the word on the street.

This clarity though is as I said, muddying the waters. How do seemingly clear messages do this? They circumvent the reality of the situation. Everyone agrees on a set of lies. They keep putting themselves higher and higher. They exaggerate their own importance to simply prove a point. Yet in the scheme of things they are under New York writers thumbs. They haven’t broken away. Realities like this eventually come crashing down. It is a recipe for self loathing. If you loathe yourself so much that you have to peg yourself higher what happens to the internal self? It is weakened. It is simply an ego that can be popped by understanding that you don’t need accolades or technical abilities but simply an attitude of self reliance coupled with some integrity.

Why I am stuck though isn’t simply the graffiti element. It is the awkward nature of what I have attempted to do. When for instance I had partnered to produce new unique walls there was an element that was angered. There were of course people who were on side as well. When the angered element tried to intervene they were simply powerless to make any physical mark. Yet they left a psychological one. They disturbed the overall flow of the attempt. They disrupted the sheer nerve of the activity. It was the physical attempt that was laughable. They had no way of stopping us. Yet slander is also a tool to undermine. That isn’t really about graffiti. That is about sinister characters who inhabit graffiti.

They have no backbone yet they have whispering voices and broken spirits. A lot of our problems are not simply physical. They are spiritual. The darkness focuses and even has the intent to kill though it may not act on it. It is darkness which fabricates simply to avoid its own boredom. It is listless and lost. Why society allows people to lose themselves is beyond comprehension. It is at once a powerful way for society to create an underclass that can be at ease with its own inferiority. It believes everything society tells it only to create the base of evil with which to build upon. Sure I may be mad but if it wasn’t for my own siding with nature I could also be cast out into this founding world. Simply put, hell on Earth.

If it isn’t constructed then what is it? If we were all taught to be self reliant then the lies of our corporate masters would mean nothing. We would be free to produce our own energy and food and leave the system. Yet we are held by our own beliefs to believe in a system that creates people who are obsessed with darkness and cause nothing but distress. Hell, it seems is what our world is built upon. Far up above is the realm of heaven. A place full of ballooning egos, where slander is hard to reach.