The obvious question is, how do you unstick yourself? How do you make progress when you seem to be thwarted? Graffiti is only one issue because then there is art and writing. They all have similar problems in that there is an uncaring attitude of self interest as a theme. The answer for me is to simply keep hiding. To retreat. You can’t fight a battle when you have no support, no matter how good you are. You stay underground. You keep producing. You could become a curiosity. You could be a tinkerer.

The funny thing is I have big ideas of late for large sculptural work. The problem is space, money and support. I don’t have the connections to produce these works and nobody will fork at a hundred thousand dollars for an idea when the financial storm is on its way. Even if the world was rosey nobody will invest in a bunch of obscure ideas. Does that just mean accept failure? Of course. The thing is I can put these sculptural ideas into my stories. There is no cost when building with words.

With words I can build entire worlds with little overhead. The only overhead is time. Luckily I have time. Most importantly I have time to dream and think. I can grow my ideas away from reality. It isn’t a fantasy though as words define reality for everyone. Also I am not convinced that certain people are hatching my downfall but simply understand the mechanism that comes of social constructs. That people who know no better garner the attention of a bunch of people thriving off gossip.

Maybe I am the real gossip, though I wish ill of nobody. People simply came looking for me and my friends to make a point. It is of course finished but there is an ongoing sinister contempt for those that attempt a break for freedom. Whether it be freedom of expression or freedom in general. People want you to be in a box with a clear label. They want to actually know everything about you. Where you are at all times and what you are thinking as well. Not for any other reason than thwarting freedom.

The reality though is nobody actually cares. That is the real issue. For my own interest I just have to place myself away from the spotlight and enjoy a stress free life. The surveillance state is quite disinterested. Paranoia is a reality of those who feel thwarted yet when you realise the kind of people you can end up dealing with it is a natural reaction. Yet to react is to go against change. The reactionary wants the world to stand still. Change happens anyway. I keep telling myself that things will change. Then I see those that don’t want change wishing the worst on people. Change is quite natural.

I never thought though that the world would become so self interested to the point of social fragmentation. Where the world was socially fragmented leaving some in dire straits. I feel lucky because I have all of the basics but there are people who need social cohesion by gossiping and slandering others. It has always been that way but it seems quite concentrated and almost unbreakable. When I go into the city all I see is hordes of desperate homeless people and hordes of wealthy people wandering around. It seems the homeless have become the ridiculed through not jumping through the correct hoops.

They missed the boat they didn’t even realise was there. Now they are clinging onto the side in hope that somebody will save them. The world though has changed. There are winners and losers. It was a race where many had a head start. The losers though would lose everything. With the financial storm on its way even the winners will get their fair share of losing. When you discard the safety nets it means that you too are susceptible. That though was supposed to be the new idea of equality. Where there was no safety or place to retreat to. They invest in their own interests but don’t limit other people. A neoliberal trap. That is where self interest leads.

It is a philosophy that seems fair. Yet to be fair people need safety and welfare. My own attitude of retreat is simply because I can see no way out. There is a system that needs to be maintained. Even though it isn’t in everyone’s best interests. Don’t get me wrong there are still a lot of positives. Though I am against attacks on welfare. A lot of people probably don’t deserve welfare but they do need it regardless. Closing budget holes is an illustration of contempt for basic human values. The land we live on is raped by mining companies and I am not getting anything out of it. The least we can have is safety. Though to be realistic there is no guaranteed safety. Let alone a safety net. The current system is quite unjust and corrupt. It may soon enough cease to even work.