I may have a pretty quiet few weeks in regards to painting. I was on a roll with canvas work but felt that my writing was more productive. My writing and painting had caught up to each other but the problem remains of the paintings being harder to interpret. They simply make no sense as paintings. My conclusion was you can’t have stupid ideas in painting but you can get away with it in writing. When I say stupid I mainly mean ideas that may be a bit suspect. Painting them leaves simply an interpretation whereas writing can explicitly state the ideas.
Even though in a way the writing is full of pretty much half baked ideas it can spiral into some sort of meaning through the process whereas my painting just leaves question marks hanging over them. It is hard to bring myself to that sort of disclarity and to keep painting in that way. Once I enjoyed unclear ideas but now I want to know where the ideas could lead to. Where the ideas can at some point clarify what I am on about.
Even the clearest writing can leave you being completely misunderstood but it is easier to at least have some sort of structure that helps meaning. What I mean is when I write I can offload ideas that I have pent up and test them out. Even if I fail in the writing I still get to see the ideas in a form that I can’t in painting. I have lost my trust in painting and maybe I must admit that my ideas can’t get out that way. Graffiti in itself is different because it is part of a personal story. The stories are carried outside of the actual graffiti work but can be put together by people who know.
Writing though gives you a chance to explore any story you want. It doesn’t have to be tied up to you though it may be about how you have thought the story out. Whatever the core problem is I just can’t bring myself to do any painting. Not when I can make up a whole world of competing ideas. When I can lay down my bias and thoughts and pitch them against each other. In a way I can learn from writing. Painting is an embodiment of ideas normally tied to painting itself. Tied to the process and thinking of the state of painting. All I want is to empty my mind of the competing thoughts in my mind and see how they interact in a particular world.