Carry it

I used to have a recurring dream that I have mentioned in past posts. Basically had shot a shopkeeper and would have a secret stash. The dream was paranoid as basically was trying to cover up the crime. The main theme was about responsibility and guilt. When I accepted that I was an artist and crazy too which was quite recently really the dream stopped. When I made certain types of art I would feel guilty and for a short time try and make up for it with something that was acceptable or good. This went on for years going in a cycle. Eventually realised that I could not hide it. It had to be expressed even though it was mad. Madness is not a crime I suppose I understood that I had to accept the responsibility. This comes back to another dream many years back. A dead ancestor was buried and they had a cross buried with them. They handed it to me from the grave and I knew I had to carry it.

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