It is hard sometimes taking stock of your life not that it is negative but I can see a situation and know the solution but feel now isn’t the right time to solve it. The solution is ideal but I want to live  the life I want to lead. There are fluffy agendas that probably need to be met but I realise that these are not really solutions. The problems I am focusing on are external or so they seem but really they are in myself. Also most likely there is no problem and I just need to enjoy myself but life isn’t always about enjoyment. There are goals, there are needs and wants. At the moment my needs are rather simple so I need to think of those, just little things like clothing or a haircut. Then I think of making a bigger decision even though it is against what I believe in. It isn’t very tempting anyway or I would be there already. Every now and then I like to question my own actions, what I am doing what I believe in or think is suspect. At the same time I can put things off, but really never the important things. Sometimes it is difficult just to let yourself be who you are but there comes a time when you realise change is inevitable. It isn’t the time just yet but I really need to think about what I really want. What is it I want to do now and in the years ahead? Some things are surfacing anyway and I am not really trying to make them happen. I have always been a believer in the right time, it isn’t about stars aligning or anything but just when you have other options to take. In some ways things are really overdue but I can see new things coming and I don’t want to wait. But I am going to be patient because I don’t want to start thinking the pain is over when I still have to bear a bit more.

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