Been spending more time with my sister in general since Mum passed. I would get those reminders in my head of the finality. It’s only been a week and I am planning on spending some quiet weekends after this weekend anyway. I have to paint the Bondi Sea Wall this weekend. I painted Thursday just after I renewed my First Aid Certificate. I have been at work since Wednesday. I almost forgot about the Sea Wall and I can defer it for next month but there is a lot on the horizon so that will be it.

I might just focus on family and park everything else for a bit. I looked after little Dylan Friday night and we had a low key hang out session then I dropped him home. Got some stuff done Saturday and went to TaiChi. Sunday saw my brother in law and sister. I am keenly aware of not overdoing it. I have been reading and Sunday I couldn’t recall something I read a week or two before and then as soon as I got into bed it came back to me. I have this unreliable memory and normally I will keep digital notes but of course that particular topic was not noted.

Although I wrote a little bit about it a few weeks ago so I won’t repeat myself. The problem I find myself in is I don’t know if I am pacifist in my avoidance of conflict or taking sides or if it is more in my nature to observe. You definitely can’t be neutral as you hold some kind of position but I feel like is it my job to act? Then in a bigger sense who is in a position to act? Then as nobody seems to be doing anything that can change whatever needs to be changed we just sit in this impasse which is the frog in the saucepan.

Everything seems to be going on, claims to Mars, claims to the Moon, wayward artificial intelligence, mass-immigration, self-driving cars and a whole lot more. Yet day to day seems locked in routines. We get taxed, we get the bus or train, we get a holiday and any idea you have about the reality you inhabit, the places you shop is like a lottery. A lottery in that you see all of these businesses closing, smaller Mum and Dad shops and of course the corporate food businesses roll in. What a surprise. How convenient.

Yet this environment, which is based on an anti-human trajectory for over 200 years plus, is denied as soon as it is spoken. We have heard all about imperial and colonial crimes of old and we live in a colony right now. You have though, a chain of living and dying centred around problem/solution, solution/problem. The corporate wheel of life. The invisible chains and so on. Yet even with that the cosmologies of old have just been transferred. The technology changes, the story changes, the wheel of life is divisible. It can be managed through supply chains. Supply and demand. Demand and supply. We have a drug for everything.

At the same time the supply chain adapts, it reacts, yet it doesn’t mean you can’t act. Also I need to point out all of the mediated dialogs offer nothing but fantasies. I wrote a post a few months ago about shit stains on Mars. Homeless martians and so forth. As an example the government push over a few decades was to get people into regional areas. So we exported our problems. Now there is regional homelessness, regional crime waves and increased regional drug abuse. The government just made more problems. Relayed the shitstorm and made an echo chamber.

Now all we hear is problems and look to false idols for solutions. Every disaster is an opportunity, and on the flip side every opportunity is a disaster. This is the corporate wheel of life in full force. We see the cosmology plain as daylight. Yet it is a fabrication. It is as people love to say, a distraction. Yet where do you and I fit in all of this? Will observations pay off? Can we manage to hang onto our own reality?