Was talking painting and graffiti last night when a friend visited. It was hard to gauge where we were going with it. My friend is still confidently pursuing goals but I look back and see my best work in the past. 1993 was a good year, 1998 and 2000 the work was still visionary pushing along. Maybe 2008 is the last time I could see that real innovation and imaginative direction. The last few years have been good but the work is more contained, it is more about process and their is no real directive for a particular result. Whereas those other years I would use references such as drawings or a photo as a cue to build to.
I have tried to move away from drawings or references trying to use my imagination but my mind seems kind of blank compared to all those years ago. I probably need to draw but when I draw I kind of just lose myself in materiality. I am painfully aware of the material and its base presence, it becomes a point I tend to emphasise now. I don’t know where this will go and truthfully I have never known where any of my work will go so it is same same different.
I know intuitively that I need to keep pushing my current agenda and need to explore this very basic function of mark making. The strange thing is I always doubt everything and never really know but at the same time I follow the direction until it is exhausted. Maybe in drawings it has dried up but there is still room to move with aerosol in this kind of process based direction. Maybe I am getting frustrated because things are a lot slower and it isn’t guaranteed that I will get the space to explore the work fully. I have a good spot to paint but it isn’t entirely evident that that is where the work should be. I will just have to put in some thinking time and do other things until an answer bubbles up.