Lots of trying

Finally finished a book I was reading on the history of philosophy, it was hard going and I really had to force myself to read it at times though by the time we reached modernity I could relate to some of the issues a little easier. I wouldn’t say I retained much or comprehended a lot of the differing systems but I definitely found some things quite helpful especially in understanding some core issues in the twentieth century and some more rhetorical styles of writing that were fashionable as well. It was going to be general and I felt that it has given me some general knowledge so if I go into some other writings I can kind know where I am a bit more. When I had catatonia I started reading quite a lot again because I couldn’t get around so much and I went back to some texts from uni days and even though the styles were full of jargon and skirting around meaning and sometimes the futility of meaning the core ideas ranged from differing systems (for example geological, biological) as opposed to an overall system, sexual difference and questioning the nuclear family as opposed to the many variations of what we call the real world. So questioning ideals and encouraging difference which was fashionable and mind opening but in regard to my interest in philosophy that kind of happened while I was in bed thinking about life. The idea of an all encompassing system of logic watertight in both language and mathematics were some of the giant projects generally described only to have another mathematician find a fatal flaw to leave the originator scrambling for solutions and plugging the holes, that is what we missed at uni where instead we got a few literary theorists talking dirty in the most difficult way imaginable. I guess it is obvious I was distracted the whole time trying to make stuff as well but the idea of so many systems that differ and have a point all of their own is a pretty cool thing to think about if you consider all the systems that living organisms prescribe to for enhancing chances of survival and to take advantage of the environment(s) : ) and of course artists finding ways of working with various materials new and old.

But my point was I set off on a journey of reading again and thinking again, just remembered that the reason I love graffiti is that it is fundamentally an expression directed by my whole body. Cut to scene of my uni supervisor talking about the little dance of your hands when making a drawing and then I see myself painting a wall, the dance of my body in relation to the wall. That is the energy. Something I love is movement and that is why I enjoy Tai Chi but that is about harvesting energy. It is true that some people rely on specific systems to create because that is enough for their expression they only need that one way. Some people may need a few ways. Some people say ‘no way’! Well to end after my haiku like moment I have had a shoulder injury and the other night I felt the need to do a Tai Chi move I hadn’t done in years. It was pretty urgent and I had to remember how to do it and when I figured it out and did it my shoulder felt better and I felt quite tranquil. So sometimes you have to be patient and listen. It was a long wait but worth it. I did a lot of trying too.

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