Our minds are generally messy places, things sort of come in and out of consciousness. You definitely don’t want to control your mind or force anything because it has its own natural rhythm. I tend to find if I am physically well, if my body is flowing my mind is settled.

Having positive thoughts for example is fairly pointless if it isn’t happening naturally. You are simply playing mind games if you believe that thinking a certain way is going to help. You might have intrusive thoughts which you can’t stop and I am not saying that I have an answer for you.

What I want to say though is everything in your life plays a role in the soap opera of our lives. So you can’t control everything or make everything serve you but what can you control? If you find out what you can control, it will take time, sometimes just making one goal, one thing can keep you busy for months or even years until finally it is serving you well and you have control of it. 

Then whatever you feel comes to mind. You may never overcome even one thing that you want to. That thing that ultimately you should have control over may evade you. Maybe you aren’t ready, maybe you don’t realise you ultimately could have more control over it. Maybe you control things outside of yourself that seem more worthwhile.

All I can say is I know that things build. If I don’t work on myself, I can get careless at times. Then the minor inconvenience from not doing things in my best interest becomes a fully fledged demon squad after leaving my self care in the dust. It happens. I know I am making it sound dramatic. For some people all they know is drama. It doesn’t have to be that way and what you can potentially be responsible for, by default you are responsible for.

What is out of your control, you can only hope that when you have reached a point of self awareness becomes less of a problem only in that you are able to handle it better than if everything including yourself is out of control. The only reason I am talking about this is that I revisited some old habits that didn’t help me and then things I didn’t need started appearing. It isn’t coincidence, it isn’t voodoo magic, it is simply the unwritten laws of nature.

On another note sometimes people say things to you that are not emphatic or helpful and you feel wronged or misunderstood. Yet those same people in an ideal setting would understand your situation and be less critical. Yet we just come out with something that is ignorant because of a bias we barely understand or actually conform to. People can be contradictory and that comes back to the way our minds are messy.

We are mostly uninformed and speaking to people in social settings is not a lecture or learning experience. We essentially need ignorance just to get through the day or else every activity would be difficult and draining. People lambast stupidity but we literally need it to survive. Some people take full advantage of that too. All I want to say is we are all in the same boat. At least as far as self care goes. Self care isn’t about scented candles and epsom salt baths, it is about living. 

It doesn’t have to be your best life, rather it is better to be in control of your life and follow natural law.