There was a lady I went to public school with and high school. I saw her recently by chance and remembered she was always calm, quick to smile and friendly. A well regulated type who I don’t think I ever saw in a bad mood or down in any way. I am sure she had her challenges in life but I don’t think she had a bad bone in her body. The reason I mention her is it reminds me of my youth because I was a fiend for a bit of drama and a person like her was off my radar.

I did talk to her in the past and we were on good terms but I was raring for some good old fashioned police chases. I was not  the worst of the lot, mind you but when I think of my life someone like this person should have been attractive to me but wasn’t. Especially from 13 and 15 years of age I was in most bad crowds. I did luckily realise there was a potential problem with my chosen lot. I knew from watching movies and listening to Hip Hop there were bad times ahead. 

To change direction for a moment in my book ‘Ran Wicked’ there is a quick chapter on homosexuality and hate crimes. I glossed over the misunderstandings between exploitation, institutional sexual abuse and homosexuality in public spaces like toilet blocks. I have gone into more detail on older posts on my blog but to clarify there were a few graffiti artists who were sexually abused by paedophiles. Some high profile figures who are in other fields now admitted to youthful homophobia due to sexual abuse and said as adults they understand homosexuality isn’t abuse. 

The other point I made and want to highlight is that the homosexuals knew what they were after which was sex and pleasure. The people who were bashing them were misguided and as far as sex was concerned they didn’t really know what they were after. This is where I launch into my point of aggressive tension and momentary release of aggressive tension in heterosexual male sexuality. Rather than pleasure the focus can be on conquests, possession and trying to release the tension,

You are probably at this stage wondering where this is going to go and what the hell am I on about. Well as far as practising Qigong and regulating mood and tension the release is the actual practice. You can’t blame people who don’t know how to manage their bodies but at the same time running a bunch of blokes around with a ball doesn’t really do the job. The tension just keeps building and building. People then become addicted to the release. That to me is sad because that isn’t actually going to help you.

The regulation of mood and release of tension in Qigong uses sexual energy to refine and open channels. I am not saying to not have a nasty shag and sit around with rosary beads chanting but I am going to say this: Qigong is not indoctrination. I don’t actually care what you do but I am just explaining the mechanics of the body and how these things play out. If you are caught in drama and abuse understand what people are doing, not just to themselves but to others as well.

If I had known what I know now back in the day and had tools to manage my body in a healthy way rather than through constant competition and struggle things would have been a lot smoother. Also it wasn’t just me being a dickhead but also the adults who were supposed to help, some of the adults were even worse than the kids. When I talk about being in a shit society that is the most blaring red light. The adults were steam rolling themselves with anything they could get their hands on. Nobody is held to account and the cycle continues.