Election day blues

It is the election weekend with votes being cast today for the Australian Federal Election, I voted last week as I work on Saturdays and didn’t want to get caught in the hustle and bustle of election day. Around half of the Australian voters had the same idea and voted early, the most significant number of pre-voting to date. Also, Covid is still quite rampant across the nation and crowds are best avoided. I feel like hiding away from the world and staying home, it is wet and cold by Sydney standards (not really that cold but you acclimatise). I feel a bit all over the place today and want to do some Qi Gong and have tea. I am having a rather everyday drop of Japanese roasted rice tea (Genmaicha) and my cat Caramel is sleeping beside me on my makeshift sofa (an old chest with cushions on top). I could say that I almost feel depressed but it is hard when you have schizophrenia to get depressed but it can happen. Mostly my emotions are rather flat but occasionally I can get a little emotional. I am ok though and I know it will pass. I have been having all sorts of strange dreams which are pretty standard for me, They are all like successive stories that come in and out of focus with people from my past making appearances. It is strange that my dreams are focused on the past but things in the dream seem more resolved and make sense when a lot of relationships from the past came and went without rhyme or reason. I am still in touch with a few people from past relationships and I might chat every now and then but things are so different and people can be so busy and some are far away.

I miss my Dad and Aunty but I am seeing my Mum a bit more to keep her company and I am in touch with my sister and brother in law. I have been socialising with a few friends quite a lot so maybe with the weather, I am just feeling a little out of my routine. I have a friend coming over tomorrow for a tea and a chat, I went back on Instagram which seems to be working out better than my previous effort. I have one public account to contact mural artists and I have been chatting with one new convert recently. She is a lovely young lady with a lot of talent and focus. My other account is private and meant to be a rather messy creative train of meandering thoughts and ideas that make little sense. My public account is not something that I will post too much because I am a bit scattered in my output of art and writing. I don’t want to draw much attention to myself and instead want to focus on commercial mural artists and see what they are up to.

My other account though travels from the recent past to decades ago and then back to the present, what a complete mess but I feel that is what I am about. Also, I just want to follow some people I know or have worked with at different stages. I am not worried about making it popular either, I don’t really gel with the platform as much as Flickr which is far more interesting for me. I need to have a warm shower and get snug. That tea hit the spot. Time to relax.

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