I am glad I have such a constructive family, my Dad’s memorial went very well thanks to my sister and her organisational prowess. She wrote a wonderful eulogy and I felt it captured Dad over many decades of his life which helped those that didn’t know him well. My Dad kept to himself in a lot of ways. There was a lot I didn’t even know and still don’t know and I spent a lot of time with him over the years. Over the past few years I tried to get things out of him so I could try and be more involved with his care. He always ignored questions that were a bit imposing for him. Imposing as in other people knowing about his particulars. He would just say it was under control and he was managing it. I don’t have schizophrenia anywhere near as serious as my Dad’s and if someone offered me some help I would consider it at least whereas Dad wanted to do it himself.
So as you can surmise he was independent to the end. In a lot of ways I totally understand. When I was quite unwell I had to rely on my partner of the time and I longed for independence and self reliance. Eventually I got that and it helped me a lot in the long run. I can’t even imagine losing that even though it cost me in other ways. The memorial was inclusive and respectful. I feel my Dad got a memorial that suited his character. There were a lot of caring people from the Katoomba community and the multiple Churches he visited. Dad really did need their help, only in that he didn’t have the life skills to really look after himself and he needed to be around people. They offered a lot of support and he did knock a lot of it back. He was happy to share time but still wanted independence. The weather was cold and wet and that is the kind of weather that my Dad loved. Everything worked out how he wanted it even though his life became difficult over the past few months. He has been farewelled in the best way possible. He will be missed.