Something that doesn’t come across in my dealings online is just how happy I am within myself. Of course I make stupid mistakes all of the time and people can find me annoying or what not but I feel pretty satisfied in day to day life. The reason I seem to feel this way is I am always engaged in activities. For example reading, writing, painting and other hobbies keep me from thinking too much about my faults or failures. This doesn’t mean I don’t work on myself but at the end of the day I get by just using the skills I do have and pushing them as much as I can. Qi Gong would also be another skill set that gives me relief and keeps me calm. I am constantly studying Chinese (mostly text) and I enjoy Linux related problems as well. My constant push to learn new things and hone my skills keeps me feeling quite satisfied. I think if I didn’t have so many hobbies I would feel quite stuck. Also I don’t really buy into being perfect anyway. Life is just constant problem solving. Of course I need to solve a lot of things that I seem to ignore but when it comes to things I can do like painting or writing or Chinese or whatever those things are always developing and moving forwards. You could say what is the point of pushing these things when they have no clear rewards in terms of success? Yet the reward is happiness. The reward is satisfaction. Also you can share art online rather than worry about galleries or other formalities. More people see my work online than ever visited any of my shows anyway. Of course it would be great to have a gallery pushing my work but I am doing art as a type of therapy rather than in clear terms of art speak or art trends.
Why would a gallery take me on just because I am enjoying what I am doing? In fact as far as art goes you shouldn’t be enjoying it. You should be furthering the agenda of art making and agreed institutionalised norms and forms within art formally. In truth even though I am happy within myself and quite satisfied I don’t necessarily feel happy about every artwork I make. Each artwork pushes me to the next one. The process of study and moving through skill sets isn’t easy. It is quite hard. Yet the end result is satisfaction and happiness.