Calm energy

I was talking to an old friend recently. We were catching up after decades of not seeing each other. We both came from a graffiti background and had similar experiences though went in different directions. He said that yes my art is crazy but that I have a calm energy, at least compared to our other friends. We both found ways out of the chaos and have led basically normal lives. It made me realise that I had to really work on my calm energy. Especially when younger. I had terrible anxiety and would hide away from people sometimes for weeks or even months. Then I would reappear and hang out. Everything was imposing and crazy. If you have read my memoir you would understand why I was so highly strung. Then I hung out with a bad crowd for a few years. They always wanted to do the right thing but they couldn’t control themselves. Self control was the key. It was hard to master self control. Martial arts helped a lot. Qi Gong even more so. Life is a journey of self mastery. At least I found a calmness within myself which was almost taken away by the onset of a serious mental illness. I had to start from scratch but in the end through trial and error I made it through. I told my old friend that art was therapy for me. The poetry and stories, the visual art on various media were all a kind of therapy. We both made it out in the end. We have survived and flourished. For me I will always be happy. If I don’t have any great success. I have at least found ways of expressing myself which is incredibly beneficial to my own mental health and wellbeing.

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