There is always an issue if you are a die hard. That’s been my problem for years. Just not budging against reality. It isn’t only delusional thinking. It is a stubborn attitude. Yet to some extent I have yielded. So far this year I haven’t painted any walls. Mostly it has been the weather. Either too hot or too wet. Mostly wet when I get the chance to paint which is every second week where it has been raining. Although I have been writing a lot which is good. Doing a lot of exercise mostly Qi cultivation and walking. I get inspired when I do Qi cultivation. Mostly inspired to do practical things.
The other issue of being a die hard is simply wasting time being a die hard. Just not achieving much at all. There is so much to do that has a point. Working on walls is definitely interesting at the time. There is an effortless direct engagement with one’s need to push paint around. I am getting some direction with my story. I have my bearings mostly though I have to push things a little to get it where it needs to go. There needs to be some cleaning up of the story as it evolves and I have to stop rushing once it is finished. It needs to be edited well before I let it go. I think I can do that this time.
One rekindled interest is listening to poetry. I had a stage years ago where I listened to poetry and I have gone back to it. I am still reading a lot too. I feel comfortable surrounded by words. It is odd that I have spent most of my life in visual pursuits to simply find myself comforted by words. I write words, listen to words and read words. It is direct. Visual art feels like a step away. Funnily enough my die hard nature wants to put more text into my visual art. Another huge label that screams weirdo is on the horizon. Why I do it myself is anybody’s guess. It is simply part and parcel of a mind that spews forth discomfort and awkward visual art with captions. Don’t worry being mad is actually quite enjoyable and most naysayers simply wish they could join in the fun.