Went for a bike ride today. It was a good day for it. Slightly overcast but moderate UV with moments of sunshine. I realised that I am fighting a losing battle on many fronts. For a long time I have just stuck at it. For example I have kept up my aerosol work and have made work that feels to me to have a bit of integrity. I sold a couple of works recently which was good but it’s just not consistent. My writing has become a trickle as I deal with more visual work. The thing is I have a lot of talents but I don’t necessarily use them in my work. I try to reference things that people don’t necessarily know or care about. The stuff that I am good at like realistic portraits or that kind of stuff just seems so boring.
The upside is I have a lot of excitement in my work. It has an edge and is interesting. The only solution I can see is music. Music can be a little bit different and people can get into that. Visual work is harder to get people into. Music is universal. I would like to make some music for a change anyway. I can’t see miracles being performed but at least I won’t feel I am in the same rut. There is a lot of visual work that I will only do if I am being paid and nobody seems keen to pay me. Also I am fussy who I work with because I want to get paid rather than screwed over. Over the last four years I have been getting into sound based work and I have exhibited it. But also have had a lot of options with visual work. Great walls and in a way the opportunities are too good to miss. At the same time though I am not necessarily opening doors. Why does popularity have to be so boring?