Musings and furrowed brows

So I had some bad dreams last night, one was about my relationship and the other about my art practice. It seemed to make sense during the dreams but after the next day I couldn’t quite grasp any meaning. It was a bit paranoid too so I shrugged it off in the morning. The relationship was part of a recurring set of dreams around the oddness of our relationship and yes it is pretty weird but that never bothered me before. My feelings are quite subdued and we both do our own thing it is pretty much work work work and that is where we are similar in that we both work all of the time at something usually creative. So that is kind of where the creative dream comes in and in the dream I realise a fundamental error in my work. The use of a marker such as what may be the opposing force of what I am describing. In the work in particular I had picked out the fear of the “other” as the oppositional force and in reality this was an error rather than an observation. It was simply placed there rather than meant to be there. So maybe our relation0ship is placed there without a definitive motive or reason and it ceases to be functional. It is funny because I always loved some dysfunctional element in all of my work and I suppose I carried that into my personal life. Really though I only have myself to blame for my predicament because what do you do when you want to be functional? Or do you really, is that the scary part, the real fear of the house and two kids in the suburbs? Truthfully I have been on the run from the bogey man fearing a sofa covered in pills and a woman in a veil following me around demanding stuff. But it is reading all of this opposition into the work when it really doesn’t exist, it is like a bad TV movie plot and I keep dredging it up. Maybe I need some terrorists in the mix to make it more up to date they can be the opposing force or maybe that is the point of stories nothing better than than the other guy trying to wreck your stuff.
The reason it came up was my desire to improve my work for the show next year I noticed it kind of is currently the stuff people would prefer to ignore. That was what I was going for must be from my art school days of opposing the audience rather than excepting them and I thought why? Why try and annoy people especially when life currently is sooooooo annoying and down right scary. I keep going back to first year art school tactics, but I can’t blame art school now it is definitely my own problem and I only wish it was unique so I could feel special. So really my relationship with art is a bit weird and funnily enough my personal relationship is pretty normal i.e. two kids mortgage the scary stuff : ) but I have tried to avoid dancing dinosaurs and pot plants to my own detriment they are just so cool and make everyone happy. So thats that my next work just has to have some terrorists, not real ones just the bogey man art kind.

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