Sure use a spray can.

Really have resolved a lot of stuff from the past in the last ten years especially family stuff. Feel so blessed to have had a creative life up to now. Really want to give back now that I have a pretty decent skill set. Having the job on sunday was great it is nice to get paid for what you love and then I have another paid gig at the end of the month. I took my daughter out to lunch and bought her a few things which is pretty rare lately. I do buy her things but lately have had to be tight due to bills and other pressures. Having some paid art on the side can help with disposable income considering my weekly wage just seems to get us by. Sydney is an expensive city but I still love it and I feel so lucky to still be able to get artwork done. I am pretty lucky and I get to do what I love. Even getting paid for it occasionally too.
Even though I chose to be an artist and pretty much burned every bridge like Baal from Bertolt Brecht instead of dying in a forest after deflowering many maidens and murder, I found myself in a somewhat stable lifestyle. That is pretty decent considering. I was never really reckless but a bit of a bad boy on the side and it could have gone the other way and now I am a father and still get to be creative! I am finally happy that I made the decisions I did. Money never really bothered me and growing up with a roof over my head and food on the table wasn’t all that bad. Even the bad bits like my Mums abusive alcoholic boyfriend and my Dad’s mental problems with occasions of psychosis now look like an exercise in character building. Really they could have killed me and they obviously didn’t so thats a plus. I might have gone off the rails as a teenager but I could have anyway regardless. My first desire as a child was to learn the piano and then it was sold. Yes I was frustrated and was told we were supposed to have a better life but at the end of the day you get a serve and then you need to make the most of it regardless.
I have forgiven all because what else can you do, you never forget though and it all shapes you and now I feel as though my art is the direction I took. It is healing adventurous, spiritually satisfying and interesting as well as a huge part of my life. Really I could have had it a lot worse and my frustrations were more from disappointments with decisions that people caring for me made. Being sent to Rugby Union when you abhor sport is kind of funny now, and funny enough I still hate sport although I like American Basket ball but have better things to do than watch a bunch of men in shorts throw a leather egg around. I tend to more of a thinker than a tinkerer. At least I got to know myself and people eventually except you for who you are or just shut you out. I don’t feel like I am missing out on much, only when I am not reading or painting, I no longer want to learn the piano now but I can sure use a spray can.

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