So I spent some time with my mother which has been good to understand her condition. She is in a good way overall. She has been diagnosed with dementia. My sister and brother in law have been looking after her around the clock for months and I am going to spend some time looking after her while they have some breaks. So this weekend from Friday I stepped in. My work life is generally all around being a wage slave, it is hard for me to get time off work and my Mum doesn’t like my apartment either.

What I found recently is my Mum has problems with judgement, she isn’t quick on her toes. Other than that she knows what she needs to do and how to do things. My mother and I used to have the same kind of stove. The lower range type that we have used for years. My mothers home was renovated and that was when the problems started to show. A lot of fancy stuff at times can be counter intuitive. My sister’s home has those modern appliances too.

There is a fridge with a crisper where you have to grab the bottom not the top. My Mum finds that hard. The gas stove top which I find hard to control but I basically get it and can make it work. My Mum finds it impossible to operate which I understand considering we both had the same kind of stove for decades. As an example I had a pot of veggies that was quite full of water. My Mum thinks I should put a lid on it. This gas stove top really gets some heat so that isn’t recommended. Yet on the stove top she used to have it makes sense as they don’t output so much heat and flame.

Mum can’t adapt to the new situation and it makes me wonder how long she has had dementia for, even if it was mild. Now all of her stuff is new and the parameters have changed and she finds it hard to adapt. It normally takes judgement to assess and so I know Mum can make a sandwich and do all of the basics but the stove top is a whole different experience. Mum knows when to take her medications and did it all unassisted. She put things away, did some cleaning. She was in a good mood and I think she felt rested. Although she kind of drifts off and can stare into the distance.

She finally had her granola that she avoided for ages, she made pots of tea with tea leaves and I got her involved with cooking on the stove top but she mainly cut some veggies. I was making a rice and meat ball dish and Mum started cutting up garlic and it ended up being exactly what the dish needed. So she knows basically what is going on but if things get a little bit too complex or unfamiliar Mum doesn’t know what to do even if you tell her. Panic first and ask questions later. Although I feel like I would find new stuff hard in my 80s too and dementia doesn’t help.