In general I don’t really have any ambitions other than making things. Normally drawings, aerosol work are the main goals. As far as what to do with this stuff I kind of have no desire to explore. I can’t even imagine having an exhibition or doing any commercially motivated art related activity. It is not that I am against it, I just can’t process it or imagine anything but making things.

Normally I exhibited in artist run spaces, more low key and experimental. Most spaces I go and see art in are high end or public. There is still experimental work in these spaces but say the work might have been shown in a big art event overseas. Or it is a show with high end artists with work from decades ago. I love seeing art in public collections, there is a great range but the spaces I imagine myself in seem top tier.

Also producing the paintings I think I would need to produce, which would literally be coming out nowhere, I need a space to make them in. I could rough it out and just make the stuff in my apartment. I kind of want three fairly large canvases just to work on for years. Yet I keep putting it off for my general sanity. I keep delaying it for the space in Katoomba, but that is still a work in progress.

Instead of making major pieces of art I am making smaller drawings and painting walls. At least I am doing something. Getting a studio space for bigger work which I have no place to exhibit seems kind of pointless and I am in a holding pattern. I remember one famous artist I met was using a garage as a studio space and they cranked out work. Even garages are expensive now.

I really need to get the garage in Katoomba cleared but it’s not going to happen anytime soon. Also if I was really desperate to start these three large canvases I would have started ages ago. Also it is about opportunities, I need a space that is easily accessible to outdoors. Just because I want my canvases to be in aerosol. The problem with doing this in my apartment is the constant fumes.

Sydney is not much for opportunities at least in my price range. I am going to make work that has no audience or that much fanfare. It is a kind of labour of love. Yet it is hard to imagine a set of circumstances that would lead to making major canvas work. Walls at least can be photographed and shared that way. Making large objects requires storage and working space. At least I am stuck in a good place. I am kind of stuck making lots of small things on paper.