I was hanging out with my Mum. It was a relaxing night. My Mum has to go home soon and I will spend some time there until she gets used to the new setup. I plan to spend time drawing and reading. There was a big walk with a friend, it took about four hours. The weather is perfect for long walks. I walked down some old paths, and saw all of the changes.

The changes seem gradual, they are small but they made such a difference. I could still remember what it was like before. There was the same side path. If I knew it was all temporary I would have drawn it, a photo was a little more involved back then. Surprises seem just for dreams. Constant change. Maybe we have left ourselves behind?

Sometimes I feel like I have made it out of the matrix. Just observing the world. The contradictions. We need independence but want to share it. The young have no choice. When you are older you have options but they are yours. The young have to build something. The older have to maintain, mostly themselves.

No longer bachelor material, a kind of freedom. No longer the fruit to be picked, eaten, the receptacle, a kind of joy in an unknown future. Wanted, planted, devoured. Life begins at the end. Childhood returns. My dreams are on stages thirty years old or more. Life begins at the end. At the end you realise love was with you all along.

That is it, one day you even cast your body aside.