Just a very loose writing session, I am kind of just taking my time to reemerge this year. Something I hear a lot is people will share hardship but not their treasure. Like a flock of seagulls fighting over food, there is probably enough for everybody but anyway. After the domination food session they will flock together on the beach in the sea winds needing each other for protection.

Last year was an exercise in keeping on track, I had to stay aware and alert. Mostly just had niggling issues that I knew if I ignored would get worse. I might have overdone it because I got the injury anyway but right at the last minute and it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Then I got a full acupuncture session which was torture and I am just letting everything settle down.

I have been forced to slow down, my mind is settled and I have quietened down on socials. Only once a day after work I will have a peek at the billionaire’s cage fighting ring. I might do some light stretches before bed and I really need an early night. I was thinking about how I have a high self esteem in that I enjoy my life and can get annoyed when people I invite into my life find some bogus activity more interesting. (This is from something earlier last year).

Then I realised that there is nothing I can do and my own weirdness that I enjoy for some is not for anyone but myself. There is nothing I can do but I naturally get excited at all of the positive and creative potential and potential creative sharing that I do. I get excited, and then people don’t turn up or get sidetracked. But that is it my own high self esteem is my own problem because I should just do my thing solo but good things take time.

Of course everything good takes time, you must be patient and even though I can see the path ahead quite clearly trust can be slow to build. This year though is going to be very different. I can see it but I don’t see every fine detail. The goal is a kind of quality over quantity approach. Rather than just being available this year I have to finish a couple of things off. I have to attend to investments and art with clear goals.

Anyone who knows me knows that I build a lot of work in varying media with varying goals. It can look lazy because the spiralling media’s used seem confused but then there are hundreds of drawings, thousands of graffiti pieces, a hundred videos and then I am like, what is the point of being creative. I remember an illustrator who said I am not building submarines and he sadly took his own life a while ago from health issues.

Maybe we need more people building submarines rather than splashing paint around. People should develop weapons as well, there are so many people being creative, too many! I mean you see these Instagram artists talking up their amazing lifestyle and making art that looks like stereotypical rubbish. At the same time I am not on trend in any way and I have no plans to be. At least I know I am an idiot with a high self esteem. I only do this stuff because I need to. I am actually clinically insane so I have an excuse.