When I was in my early 20s I had three local mates in my area who got caught up in drug dealing. They were guys I really looked up to and always had time for. Normally I would see them in the area and we would chat. Two were legendary old school graffiti artists and one a skateboarder. Two of them were murdered in strange circumstances and it was drug related. One friend is still alive and now lives in Dubai.

Recently I projected my past trauma onto an unsuspecting friend. Their intentions were innocent and in my head I blew the whole thing out of proportion. At my age I should know better and I didn’t think I would have such a traumatic reaction. I didn’t mean to stick my nose in and be a pain but it was obvious I was triggered by a situation that had no similarities to my past. I didn’t think I was being rude and I didn’t want to be rude. I was just genuinely worried about my friend.

I am constantly in contact with criminals and I talk to them on the street. I hear a lot of the local street gossip but I have been genuinely afraid to hang out with them. Only in that I know they are constantly experiencing drama. There are a lot of deaths, bashings, and drug related dramas all of the time. Normally these scenarios play out at housing commissions and apart from my customary chats I steer clear of hanging out. I see someone and show them my latest graffiti pieces on my phone, have a chat and I am off.

I can’t project my experience and street knowledge onto other people. Sometimes I care too much about people but I need to realise that caring can be negative if it is tied into past events that are irrelevant to others.