Even though I feel like a screw up I am actually happy with how things are. I have two great adult children who are grounded and well adjusted. I have a very cute cat to share my bed with. I have hobbies and interests that keep me thinking and engaged. I find people mostly annoying but I like people at the same time but I don’t know why.

I love books, I enjoy writing, I like painting and drawing. Sadly I enjoy fine art even though it is more of a hindrance than a help. I enjoy painting walls, I love tea but I find social cohesion worrying. I find it worrying because people can be exclusive without realising that they are shutting the door in a lot of peoples faces. At my age most doors are closed anyway and for me that is a source of freedom.

I don’t let many people into my life so I guess I am being socially exclusive but I leave the door ajar just in case. I am not into drugs, alcohol, and adults acting like teenagers on a bender. So with those announcements I have very few friends in my vicinity. So my nights are just reading, posting to socials, a little bit of writing and Qigong with tea. Weirdly I don’t find it boring which must mean I am boring.

I always have my doubts but I have a very relaxed life and I appreciate what I have. Qigong keeps me grounded and relaxed. Tea was described by an old work colleague as my nuclear coolant to stop the reactor from exploding. Anyone who knows me well will understand the truth in that because when I snap I completely lose it. Every five to seven years the pressure builds normally from people who made it past my many idiot barriers and the nuclear reactor explodes!!!!!