I think I have been a bit stressed lately, I have been worrying about other people. I have to get out of Sydney soon and I feel like it is the right time. I have been investing time in other people. It is strange to feel so strongly for other people’s welfare. You want to help but really people can only help themselves. I have had concerns and worries where my energy has been going into people I don’t really know. I trust the energy and the energy won’t abandon me but my own desire to fix things can leave me feeling vulnerable. 

In a lot of ways I am normally someone who helps people at the start of their journey. I tend to stay where I am only in that I am happy within myself, that is the problem with being happy, you are content. You are grounded and without desire. You live in the moment, most people can’t stand that, they are never grounded, they move constantly, that is the nature of the world around me. I remember when I was maybe in my early 20s I was painting a drain near Stanmore and I met a young girl and she was interested in painting as well. 

I encouraged her pursuit of creativity and filled her with inspiration. I never heard of her again until a few years ago and heard she is a well respected street artist who remembers our conversation decades ago. It was inspiration, motivation and the courage to pursue a creative life. I was just one inspiration on the journey. I think I need to relax and step back a little bit. I remember a work colleague telling me I needed to think about myself more.

Truly though it is rare for me to give a lot of myself, normally the energy tells me if it is the right thing to do. I may not get anything concrete out of it except trusting the energy that is calling me to get involved. The energy structure decides what happens at any moment. I think of friends I have lost and times where I felt there was no way out but overall I have trusted the energy to guide me. It never abandons you if you have respect and love for yourself and others, in the past I had to learn that the hard way.