It is interesting that my new painting talks about my past, I could easily paint some thing else. I want to make myself feel better about myself so I delve into this fiction making calls to a genre popularized by Puzle. I started painting a semi geometric structure that calls back to popular design styles of the nineties and to 90s graffiti. Why this fiction when I have plenty of styles of my own? It isn’t meant to be a serious painting, just wanting to paint for the sake of it. It is a painting where I don’t particularly want to think but I can not get over the shout out to a genre that I have nothing to do with and feel little connection to.
It was not doing graffiti that gave me a leg up in the nineties, a clean break with the status quo. The ability to create art that was my own. I never succeeded making a clean break but I defined my own approach. I constantly sabotage my own legacy by playing around with some of this garbage. Looking back and forging a connection, there is no connection only attempts at self definition, attempts to see new things. I am sick of the past what I want to see is the unknowable the unseeable, to constantly uncover the disconnection. To connect to something beyond a genre or culture. To find the animal hiding in its social domain. Sounds like the ultimate goal of the schizophrenic, labelled, studied, the object outside the box from specimen to spectacle.
Seriously though I feel disconnected and that was the initial break with graffiti that came,I stepped out of the trajectory which my painting pays homage to. The thing that upsets me is to make some kind of apologetic piece to that trajectory which I have done countless times, when you step out you step out and I am far better not dreaming of something that never was. In the end stepping away was lonely but defining. To define is to speak but to follow is to mimic. Mimicry can be defining if it steps out but it only speaks of its path not of the paths undefined. When you take a new direction you find new ground, it is desolate but once you see the potential you can grow. We must grow, we must tend the fields and create new things.

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